Ok, so it wasn’t really a crime…but, it was really Danny Bonaduce (I was gonna use the Y! Movies link, but it was so bad compared to IMDb…come on guys!).
Here’s how it all went down:
Yesterday afternoon Princess took me and Rob shopping on Melrose for funky outfits for last night’s “Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes” party (more on that later). Before I go any further, I want to rant about this whole vintage clothing racket for a minute! I remember in Philly when we would go to an actual thrift store (not to be confused with a vintage store) and buy an entire hilarious outfit for $4.75. I was actually in a real thrift store recently in Sunnyvale, so I know they still exist…but if you wanna find that kind of stuff in LA or NY, the only source seems to be these damned vintage shops. It is obviously a great business, considering they must just go buy up stock from the remaining thrift stores in the poorer parts of town and then sell it at outrageous mark-ups in the trendier parts of town. I guess I’m just jealous that I didn’t get in on that scam. Anyway, having shopped at actual thrift shops, where the real clientelle wishes they could afford to buy new, the irony of a $250 “distressed” t-shirt (yes, I really did see one of those yesterday) is not lost on me. Before I continue the story, I do just want to get in a dig at Urban Outfitters and the fact that the company that syndicated vintage chic to the rest of the country is now the anchor tenant on the strip of Melrose from where they stole the idea in the first place…it’s like Starbucks opening up a branch across the street from Juan Valdez’s house (who am I kidding, that’s probably already happened).
But, I digress. Anyway, after unfruitfully scouring a couple of ridiculously over-priced used clothing stores, I was about ready to give up on the whole thing. Then, we stumbled across this great *little* shop (literally, safe capacity might have been 10 people) run by an Asian burn-out with shoulder length hair and a middle-aged Persian woman, where Rob and I found exactly what we were looking for, at actually reasonable prices ($32 for a crepe polo shirt and plaid pants). I would include a link to the shop, but I can’t find it anywhere on the internet (the receipt says Basile Fashion, 7461 Melrose Ave).
So, then all that I needed to complete my Ty Webb outfit was some spiffy golf shoes. After running out of vintage options on Melrose, we decided to take a shot at a sporting goods store to see if we could find some new, but cheap, golf or bowling shoes that would work. This mission took us to the Beverly Connection, where standing on the bridge from the parking lot was Danny Bonaduce. He was with his daughter (pictured), and they had just come across (or we had interupted them in the process of abducting, your pick) a little Asian girl bawling her eyes out. Long-story short, the little girl had been separated from her parents in the mall, and I helped Danny Banaduce find a mall employee to whom to hand her off. So, not really fighting crime, per se…but the headline is catchy, and it’s not too much of a stretch.
It was all-in-all, a very LA Day. My Danny Bonaduce experience (btw, he’s *ripped*) was book-ended by a great talk with Walter Hill (we discussed the severability of great screen-writing from great directing [his opinion, as a writer-director, is that it cannot be done], the soul of art, and the meaning of originality [now I have to read Borges]), and a fashion-themed bat-mitzvah party at the Beverly Hills Hotel that included a 20min adaptation of Zoolander featuring cameos by Walter Cronkite and Warren Buffett!!! Where else is life this absurd? Have I mentioned that I love LA!?
Oh yeah, the “Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes” party got broken up before I could make it up there…guess I’ll have to find another excuse to wear my new plaid pants.